A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
