My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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