Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
