That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
