I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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