before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
