I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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