i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
