fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
