Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
