bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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