he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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