Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
