Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
