Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Randomize
