something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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