my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
