Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
