Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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