Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
