I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
