I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
