help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
