on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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