She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
babies were throwing up all over the place
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
