I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
