I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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