The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
