and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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