so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Terrible idea I love it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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