Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
