I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
