Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
