he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize