You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
