Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
