On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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