actually, I'm a sock model
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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