Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
