I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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