Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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