I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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