the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
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The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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