i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No subtext here. People are naked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
