summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
