was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize