see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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