Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Panties = found
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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