now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
