my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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