i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
