oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
