I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
