i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize