I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
