guys are only as good as the porn they watch
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
