If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
