Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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