You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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