Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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