you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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