the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
