you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
