Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
